Posts Tagged Confessions

Confessions of a Baby-Chasing Grandparent

Wednesday, August 14th, 2019 | Permalink

Right away, I admit we followed our children out to the East Coast. Now that we’ve firmly established a beachhead for the East Coast branch of the Fietzer clan by taking up residence in Poughkeepsie, NY, I confess being closer to our grandson was the primary motive for making such a move.

A July article in “bizwomen” states that according to a study by real estate analytics company Meyers Research LLC, 25 per cent of baby boomers are moving to be closer to their children and grandchildren. Of course, none of the top five destinations for baby chasers appealed to us despite their warm weather or lower living costs.

Well before this article was published we’d considered downsizing and moving into a condo to escape shoveling and mowing. But moving to Florida (too wet) or Arizona (too dry) seemed out of the question. Anywhere else in the south seemed too pink for our political palates. And moving closer to our siblings in Wisconsin only offered the chance to re-immerse ourselves in their personal problems and peccadilloes.

So we opted to move where we could be most useful and the emotional climate seemed most congenial and familiar–our children. We’ve chosen a place that’s close enough to be convenient yet far enough away so as not to be called in to babysit at the drop of the hat. Which works both ways since we can’t pronounce our sage advice for every apparent parenting miscue they might make.

Though it’s been only two and a half months since the move, that’s been long enough to make some initial observations about efficacy of our decision. Here they are in no particular order:

  • We’re truly glad and happy that we made the move.
  • Seeing our grandson more frequently (several times a month) prevents us from idealizing him. No longer do I envision him as future-president Quinn or Quinn the astronaut. He is just Quinn, and that’s fine.
  • Seeing our sons and their spouses reacquaints us with their personalities, too. We’ve always had good relationships with them, but I again realize why we’ve kept a distance from their day-to-day activities.
  • My own behavior hasn’t been always top-notch under the stress of moving. The experience has made me aware of some of my personal shortcomings, too.

I’ll have more to say on this subject as time goes on. In six months or a year, I may not be so magnanimous toward them or as forgiving of myself. We’ll see. But my wife and I are proud to be deemed a baby-chasing grandparents, no matter what.